My Sister is a Bipolar

I was there. I was there to hear her cries every night, to feel her trembling shoulders next to mine, to hear all her bad and painful thoughts. It’s painful to see my own sister wanting to take all her emptiness and pain away by hurting herself more. She was 16 years old when she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. This is also known as manicdepressive illness, Bipolar Disorder is a brain disorder that leads to unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels and the ability to do everyday tasks. In the Philippines, the Department of Health (DOH)) revealed that there are over 3.3million Filipinos who suffer from this mental illness. In terms of suicide rates, there are approximately 2.5 females and 1.7 males per 100,000. The DOH reminded the public that depression is a very serious matter among the youth of today and that needs to be given emphasis in our country. Meanwhile, it all started when she got bullied by her schoolmates and their parents when she was in elementary. I was so young back then, what I did not know is when she went out in Lucena, City after elementary to study in Philippine Science High School CARC, every insult that she received had made a big impact to her. My sister said that she was fine during the first two yearsof her stay in Pisay. She made it to the Director’s List and even ranked first. The next school year, she failed to make it on the DL. Right after that evening, I knew something has changed. She started to hurt anyone even publicly. Physically or emotionally, my sister would always attack anyone whenever she felt like it. My then jolly sister started to become hot-headed and threw tantrums every time. But never did I get scared. I was just there always ready to hug her. I stayed even when everyone got tired of her. Our family never left her. “Hindi ko naman ginusto ‘to. Hindi ko gusting makasakit pero wala na akong maisip at maramdaman,” cried my sister when she attempted to take all my medicines at once. It’s a nightmare for her. She wanted to go back and be fine again but the problem was she could not accept everything that’s going on inside her mind. “Sabi nila gagaling ako ‘pag minahal ko yung sakit ko. Pero ayaw ko. Hindi ko matatanggap na nakakasakit ako. Pakiramdam ko pabigat ako sa lahat,” she said to me while still crying. Deep down I know that despite all the troubles that her illness caused she still wanted to change. I know she still has her reasons to live. We all held on t that. Our family did our best to make her feel alright again. I stayed by her side for a long time during the vacation, she did her therapy and took medicines regularly. Up until now, she is still recovering from all the demons inside her head. Little by little, she knows that she can go past through it all for us, for her dreams and mainly for self. And e, her family, will not stop believing in my strongest sister.